The end of a sad time

Those who know me for some time (especially from Multiply) know that I left my church about eighteen months ago because the preaching and teaching slowly became all about the senior pastor in stead of about God. In essence, he was some sort of God and I for one didn’t like that at all.

The associate pastor, with whom I had worked together for almost fifteen years, was abroad when I couldn’t take no more. So I wanted to have a talk with our other associate pastor. That turned out to be a nasty affair as I didn’t get the time to explain my worries but was told immediately I was untrustworthy, bad and on the brink of being devilish.  That did it for me and I decided to leave.

When the associate pastor returned from his trip he never bothered to call me but immediately believed the stories that were going around about me. His wife, one of my best friends, never caved in and told him in no uncertain terms she stood beside me. It didn’t help their marriage which was already bad as she wanted to leave that church too.

So my friend and I kept in touch via Facebook and he slowly realized some things didn’t add up. They left the church too,  took time to heal and this afternoon I was in for the shock of my life. He called!

Finally he was able to ask me about that day and about my side of the story. We had a long conversation and he admitted that his view on everything had been very clouded. The story I told him was way different from what he had heard in church but was the same as what he had heard from his wife.

When we ended the conversation we were both ready to pick up the pieces of our friendship and start anew.

A few hours later his wife called.  When he came home tonight he told her about our conversation and how glad he was that he had called me. She was over the moon.

And so am I. It was the one part of the whole situation that still felt painful. We were friends and I had always hoped it would stay that way. Now we can start rebuilding our friendship. I’m very hopeful!


Categories: Church, Friends, Me | 8 Comments

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8 thoughts on “The end of a sad time

  1. Wow, this is great news! I am reminded quite a bit of Ephesians 4 or what Jesus teaches us in his Sermon on the Mount. Your friend has listened to God.

    • He has. In more than one way. His wife (my friend) told me their marriage is very much on the mend, his relationship with his parents and brother is getting better and better again (they were totally estranged from each other) and they attend a church in Amsterdam where he loves to just sit and listen. When God starts He does a great job :)

  2. Oh that’s good news, Riete! I know how bad you felt over it all and broken friendships are a painful loss.

  3. Great news Riete. Friendships forged in fire last even longer and seems by your other comments that this situation he has been through has changed much in his life – wonderful outcome and a wonderful witness to Loving healing!!

  4. Glad to read of reconciliation.

  5. I’m happy to see this reconciliation come to fruition! Far too often this type of thing goes unresolved forever. Did you ask your friend (the husband) WHY he never called you to get your side of the story? That part might hurt the most :(

    • He told me. He was very much under the influence of the senior pastor and really believed everyone who left was wrong and trying to hurt them. He was very angry with me. He told me that looking back it was foolish of him but at the time he couldn’t see it any other way.

      I can understand. It was what was taught at that church … if you are not with us you are against us and in the hands of the devil. Literally.

      Looking back we bot agreed it definitely had scary sect-like elements. We are both glad we are out :)

  6. Indeed, wonderful news, and hopefully this mean good things for your friend’s marriage too!

    Few things are more painful than a broken relationship. I’m glad yours is on the road to recovery.

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